


Doomed. We're all doomed.

by juwho



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Gen, I do apologise, M/M, Oooo, baek dae and yeol are in a poly relationship, chat fic, ish, it's ot12 bcs i love and miss them, look it's chat fic time, lu yifan and tao are all in china for a semester, sehunnie is crushing, sexual hints lmaoo, this is so overly british
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-22
Updated: 2018-01-22
Packaged: 2019-03-07 22:11:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13444461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/juwho/pseuds/juwho
Summary: CHANYEOL: SAYS THE ONE WITH DADDY AS HIS NAMECHANYEOL: LIKE SHEESH HYUNG WE ALL KNOW YOU HAVE A DADDY KINK





	Doomed. We're all doomed.

**Author's Note:**

> Nicknames bcs I’m lame
> 
> Baeee: Baekhyun
> 
> Daeee: Jongdae
> 
> Daddy: Junmyeon
> 
> OhHun: Sehun
> 
> Whipped: Yeol
> 
> Angel: Yixing
> 
> Grandpa: Minseok
> 
> Satan: Kyungsoo
> 
> NiNi: Jongin
> 
> LuLuLu: Luhan
> 
> GuchiGuchiGu: Tao
> 
> ConstantlyExhausted: Yifan
> 
>  
> 
> (Luhan, Yifan and Tao are back in China for a semester but they’re usually in korea with the others)
> 
>  
> 
> Exo college au chatfic bcs I’m a poor suffering college student, rip. (ignore the overly british shit)

 

_(8:38am)_

Baeeee: I’m fucked

Baeee: Genuinely fucked

Daeee: Same thoooo

Daddy: What did you three do _this time_?

Baeee: I’m still scared by that nickname

Baeee: Anyway

Daeee: we stayed up too late last night

Baeee: N Dae n I had practice first thing

Daeee: N we swore we set an alarm

Baeee: N we didn’t

Daeee: N we have to be at practice in 22 minutes

Baeee: N yeol won’t get up to drive us and he has lesson at the same time

Baeee:

OhHun:Hyung told me to tell you that you’re all idiots but drag Chanyeol-hyung out of bed and we’ll be there in 5

Baeee: Dae go grab some pans

Daeee: On it

Baeee: RUN

Baeee: JONGDAE SAVE YOURSELF

Daeee: WE’RE IN THIS TOGETHER BAEK

Baeee: I’LL STOP THE DEMON GO WAIT FOR HYUNG

Daeee: I LOVE YOU BYUN BAEKHYUN

OhHun: Idiots

OhHun: We’re parked outside

OhHun: If you’ve ever wondered what chanyeol hyung looks like in the morning, here’s an idea

OhHun: _Image0123_

Satan: Really Chanyeol?

OhHun: He literally just came charging out the house in bright pink boxers before Baek and Dae shoved him in the car, chucking him some clothes

Whipped: Sehun. Delete that photo. Now.

OhHun: Or what?

Whipped: Or a certain crush of yours will find out…

OhHun: Fine.

OhHun: Deleted

Whipped: Nice doing business with youuu

Baeee: Are we all going to ignore the fact Sehunnie has a crush?

Baeee: He’s all grown up

Baeee: He's gonna be taking over the world soon

OhHun: Hyung. Shut up.

Baeee: Oh how they grow up so fast

Baeee: Dae hold me

**_ OhHun removed Baeee from the chat.  _ **

Daeee: Sehunnie… our baby

Daeee: Is a man

**_ Daeee added ByunBaek to the chat _ **

**_ OhHun removed ByunBaek and Daeee from the chat  _ **

OhHun: And just for good measure

_** OhHun removed Whipped from the chat ** _

Satan: Finally

Satan: Peace and quiet

Satan:…This is the quietest this chat’s been all year

Grandpa: It’s a great feeling

OhHun: I wish I could say the same

OhHun: I’m still sat in the car with them and they won’t shut up

OhHun: Chanyeol hyung’s whining he’s cold while finishing getting ready

OhHun: Jongdae hyung’s elbowing Chanyeol hyung for hitting him in the face

OhHun: Baekhyun hyung’s fake crying and complaining that I betrayed him by kicking him out of the chat

OhHun: WE’RE FINALLY HERE

OhHun: bYE

 

_(two hours later, 11am)_

ConstantlyExhausted: Sehun, please stop kicking them out of the chat

ConstantlyExhausted: I’ve had all three of them messaging me and Lu all morning

ConstantlyExhausted: Lu’s now cranky because they woke him up

OhHun: Sorry hyung..

OhHun: I miss you

LuLuLu: We miss you too Sehunnie

LuLuLu: We’ll be back before you know it

LuLuLu: I promise

**_ LuLuLu added CHANYEOL, ByunBaek and Jongbae to the chat _ **

GuchiGuchiGu: Chanyeol-hyung did you break the caps lock?

CHANYEOL: Tao, your name is literally GuchiGuchiGu, shut up

Angel: I like GuchiGuchiGu

GuchiGuchiGu: See Yixing-gege loves it

GuchiGuchiGu: Don’t judge me

CHANYEOL: cough cough suckup cough cough

Grandpa: Baek and Dae are strangely quiet….

Satan: Shit

Satan: That’s never a good sign

LuLuLu: They’ve got to be planning something…

CHANYEOL: They better not have got started without me…

ConstantlyExhausted: wAIT WHAT

Daddy: PARK CHANYEOL THERE ARE CHILDREN IN THIS CHAT

CHANYEOL: SAYS THE ONE WITH DADDY AS HIS NAME

CHANYEOL:LIKE SHEESH HYUNG WE ALL KNOW YOU HAVE A DADDY KINK

OhHun oh god

Satan: Chanyeol hyungs dead

LuLuLu: Nice knowing you Yeol

ConstantlyExhausted: Great

ConstantlyExhausted: Junmyeon don’t make me bail you out of jail

ConstantlyExhausted: Again

Angel: Again??

ConstantlyExhausted: Long story

GuchiGuchiGu: I can almost hear Chanyeol hyungs screams here in China

Jongbae: Wait

Jongbae: Why is my boyfriend being killed

Satan: I thought he was with Baek?

Jongbae: Ooops

Jongbae: We may or may not be in a poly relationship since last year??

Jongbae: I though you knew?

OhHun: I KNEW IT

OhHun: I FUCKING CALLED IT

Grandpa: It’s about time!

Grandpa: I was fed up of Jongdae’s constant whining!

LuLuLu: I’m happy for you guys!

ByunBaek: Thank you hyung^^

**_ ByunBaek changed his name to BabyBaek _ **

Satan:….

Satan: why does that sound like a prostitute name

ConstantlyExhausted: I’m off back to bed.

Jongbae: I wonder if Junmyeon hyungs finished killing our boyfriend yet

**_ CHANYEOL changed her name to IMSOSORRYHYUNG _ **

OhHun: *Oppa

IMSOSORRYHYUNG: Huh?

Satan:…

Satan: Read up.

IMSOSORRYHYUNG: okay…

IMSOSORRYHYUNG: BYUN BAEKHYUN, KIM JONGDAE I SWEAR YOU BETTER RUN

IMSOSORRYHYUNG: UNLESS YOU WANT THAT PUNISHMENT

OhHun: Ew

LuLuLu:… And with that note, I’m out of here

LuLuLu: TTYL

OhHun: Bye Lu-hyung

Satan:… I’m out.

 

_8 hours later_

 

NiNi: I just woke up, what did I miss?

Satan: Jongin… it’s 7pm…

NiNi: no its not?

NiNi: it’s like 12pm?

BabyBaek: Nini, it’s really 7pm

Nini: Oh shit

NiNi: I think I was supposed to have lesson today…

ConstantlyExhausted: We’ve been only been gone two weeks ffs

 

**__ **

 

 


End file.
